Weekend Whine
Today has nothing to do with writing, so feel free to move on if you want. :-)
This post has to do with the babies. Or the lack thereof.
Yes. I am going through withdrawals and am crazy enough to kinda, kinda, kinda want another. Luckily, my hubby is sane and has drawn a firm NO in shifting sand of my desires.
Only, he's not a baby anymore.
The truth walloped me upside the head a few days ago. I had to sort through my baby clothes to send some to my new nephew. Sentimentality isn't my strong suit, but when I saw all those old clothes I felt like crying. Just the image of them filled me with memories.
Sigh. So that's my whine. My littlest guy is almost two.
Wah!
If I'm having this much trouble now, I can't imagine how I'll feel when they're in school. Or worse, graduating.
Advice? Anyone? (sniff, sniff)
Comments
I was not really one to cry when they went to school, but I must say I cried like a baby when I dropped my oldest off at college in OK a few years ago.
I think God bings you to a place of acceptance. Of course it is in His timing, but there does come a time when you are okay with it all. It's a part of life's journey...expected and necessary.
AANNNDDDD...there does come a time when your oldest gets married (like mine did in Dec) and you see the near future being filled with more babies!!!!)
Ooh, grandbabies! All the fun and none of the work. Hehee.
All the milestones are incredibly difficult. My baby will start preschool in the fall, and I'll be a blubbering idiot.
But the truth is, God designed our children to help us grow in character. With each child God has brought into our family, I've grown SO much (in patience, in perseverance, in diligence, etc.).
Pray about this desire for another baby and see what God would want you to do. We pray about other desires we have and seek his guidance. I think he wants to have input on child-bearing part of our lives too.
All that to say, I totally understand your desire. I've been there many times (which is why I have five!).
Sorry, this is so long! If you ever want to talk more about it, just email me! I'd love to chat more.
My advice? Just love them every day, and you will come to a place where you can appreciate the finer points of their growth. For example, their independance will give you new independance.
And someone above mentioned fussing over any of the new babies being born into your family. That's always a good way to get your snuggling fix. ;-P
Bless your mommy-heart. My prayer for you is peace--that you will find your fulfillment and joy in their everyday accomplishments. You'll be seeing lots of those in the years to come!
Even though my two sons are in their 40's now and 6' 5" tall, they still are my kids. The mothering part never stops, just changes and increases the love.
And when they give you grandkids, like my oldest has, you'll find a new kind of love that is indescribable!
Love them where they're at and the love will grow as they grow.
But in my 30's I thought ... only one? that's all I'm having? Should I have another one?
Well, I still had just one son, never did have a second child. Do I regret it? I don't know - it is what it is and I can't imagine having more than one. So no, no regrets there other than every now and then I wonder what another child would have been: a girl? another boy? what would they be doing? But perhaps no matter how many you have (unless you have a whole passle of kids) you think that?
Someone told me when i was feeling that way, to go babysit someone's infant and I'd get over it real quick *laughing*
Thanks for saying he's cute. After I posted the pic, I thought, he looks kinda funny, funky hair, etc. :-) But yes, I love that sweater too.
If I have another one though, I'd want my husband to be at peace about it. LOL Not sure that's going to happen and I want to be done popping out kids by the time I'm 30. :-) I know, you FIVE! That is amazing to me. And yet, people did it all the time. I personally do not see the difference between three to four, time-wise, but I do know that another baby would be challenging. The older my kids get, the more freedom I get! LOL They're such blessings though that I want more.
You're right about them helping us grow too! Boy, my patience gets a good work out.
Thanks for the hugs! :-) Such a great point, to enjoy them while I can. That's something I try to remember, that they're only this little for a bit of time, then it's over. The writing is definitely something I look forward too!
So you think Sean looks beautiful even with that crazy haircut? LOL
Beautiful advice! You guys are all such founts of wisdom, I'm just going to lap you up! LOL
Grandkids.... groan! I can't even imagine that yet. But I see how much you love yours and what blessings they are. My kids are completely loved on and spoiled by their grandparents too.
:-)
I guess I'm having love pains, you know, 'cause I'm stretching and growing.
You had a baby at ten? Wow... (just kidding)
You're right! Babysitting would be a quick fix. *snickering*
I think I would always wonder a bit, no matter how many I have. Who will he/she look like? What would they have grown up to be. So I think you've hit the nail on the head with that observation.
I'm groaning though, at the thought that I'll have to go through this again! It's unpleasant, to say the least.
And to be honest, I do NOT want to be pregnant. Hate it.
Sigh.
Like everyone said, I need to just focus on the precious present. ;-)
My son turns 21 this April...sigh. Part of motherhood is crying-with joy and with sadness every step of the way.
LOL Don't tell me that!!!!
I'm just kidding. Motherhood is wonderful and such a mix of emotions. Congrats on your little guy growing up into a big guy! :-)
I saved a couple of tubs of baby clothes because I thought they did hold memories. *sigh* I'm a sucker.
My youngest is going to be 19 next month, and thinks she is grown up--but she'll always be my baby. :)
That sweet face can turn ugly real quick! LOL You should hear his scream. Awww, you kept baby clothes? That's so sweet. :-)
Nineteen? I remember knowing everything then. Hey, I still think I know everything. LOL
That's cute about your daughter.
:-)
He is a doll! No wonder you want another! And it is a natural, God-given instinct. But...
go hold some babies at church or family gatherings, volunteer to babysit for a friend with an infant, write a story with babies in it, etc. That will help.
It's okay to cry and remember. But, I think your hus. is wise, and a good balance for you.
Just take each day at a time, and God will give you grace to go through the changes as they come. You are HIS baby, and He loves you dearly!
Jen
He is a doll! No wonder you want another! And it is a natural, God-given instinct. But...
go hold some babies at church or family gatherings, volunteer to babysit for a friend with an infant, write a story with babies in it, etc. That will help.
It's okay to cry and remember. But, I think your hus. is wise, and a good balance for you.
Just take each day at a time, and God will give you grace to go through the changes as they come. You are HIS baby, and He loves you dearly!
Jen
You know what? Embrace what you have. Savor every moment. And treasure the past.
Just keep loving and adoring them, Jessica. Each stage of their growth, maturation (at least from what I've seen already, my eldest is 15) is amazing and such a glorious blessing.
If I'd kept on having babies, though, would I be as observant and involved with each of my three now? I doubt I would have the time to, to be honest, so I thank God for my precious three and all that they bring to my life, and for the time right now to recognize their changing, maturing personalities.
I need to find someone to hold, and quick!
I treasure the past very much! Trying to embrace my future...wah again!
:-)
Seriously though, you're right. I love being able to focus on each child. I've heard many stories about kids in large families feeling invisible and I think it's the saddest thing. On the other hand, seems like solo kids get a bit spoiled. LOL We've got it good at three! :-)
Morgan Mandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
LOL Jessie, my MIL always refers to my hubby as a rotten child. Very cute and you're right, the rottenness is not really rottenness.
Hi Morgan, dogs are so cute! It does take awhile for them to calm. We had a lab growing up and he was SO wild until he hit seven. Then he just calmed right down. He was so lovable too. :-)
Windsong, that only lasts a few months. LOL Watch out! As you know, that baby is about to learn how to get into mischief!
Hi Angie,
LOL I'm sure I will enjoy it. I have all boys and have a feeling they're going to be with their daddy all the time. Guess I'll have to fill my days with blogging and conferences. Tough, right? (not)
I'm not trying to sound "sassy", just wanting to encourage you to enjoy the blessings you have and relish the memories along with them. :)
Yeah, this pic is of my youngest and thank goodness he's a snuggler. I have to be careful not to baby him too much though, even though in my heart, he still feels like a baby, not an almost two year old.
Thank you for the encouragement!
:-)
And in a few years, when you've been out of the baby/toddler stage for a while, babysit your friend's toddlers and baby. And you'll wonder how you ever managed to be a mother of preschoolers and keep any shred of your sanity.
Trust me. I did this a couple weeks ago!
Now that he's almost two though, I, like you, am thinking it might be time to start getting those tiny onsies out again for another baby.