A Bitter Root
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many
Grace is a beautiful thing. We all need it.
Bitterness is ugly. Most of us have it.
When I think about bitterness, I think of a vine growing around our hearts and choking us. I'm not trying to preach to anyone today, but I did think it's worth noting how easy it is to become bitter in a business like publishing.
This is a subjective business, one that doesn't necessarily conform to rules. We want rules. We come up with formulas and plotting strategies and one-sheets. We revise and edit, revise and edit, shooting for perfection.
And then we face rejection.
It's the subjectivity that's the toughest, because in this business, you can't measure success by publishing. Getting a contract means a lot of people like your book. Rejection doesn't mean people DON'T like your book.
The business of publishing isn't a formula. There are things we can do to draw closer to our goals, but they're still no guarantee of a contract. All these gray areas leave room for big dreams and big disappointments. They leave room for bitterness.
I guess I just want to encourage everyone. Bitterness is easy to give into, but hard to escape. Even worse, it's contagious.
Grace is a good cure for bitterness.
Has there ever been anything you've been bitter about? How did that bitterness feel? Were you able to escape its tentacles? What does grace mean to you?
Grace is a beautiful thing. We all need it.
Bitterness is ugly. Most of us have it.
When I think about bitterness, I think of a vine growing around our hearts and choking us. I'm not trying to preach to anyone today, but I did think it's worth noting how easy it is to become bitter in a business like publishing.
This is a subjective business, one that doesn't necessarily conform to rules. We want rules. We come up with formulas and plotting strategies and one-sheets. We revise and edit, revise and edit, shooting for perfection.
And then we face rejection.
It's the subjectivity that's the toughest, because in this business, you can't measure success by publishing. Getting a contract means a lot of people like your book. Rejection doesn't mean people DON'T like your book.
The business of publishing isn't a formula. There are things we can do to draw closer to our goals, but they're still no guarantee of a contract. All these gray areas leave room for big dreams and big disappointments. They leave room for bitterness.
I guess I just want to encourage everyone. Bitterness is easy to give into, but hard to escape. Even worse, it's contagious.
Grace is a good cure for bitterness.
Has there ever been anything you've been bitter about? How did that bitterness feel? Were you able to escape its tentacles? What does grace mean to you?
Comments
We can grow bitter at the difficulty of the subjective process. But that won't help us get anywhere. We just have to keep writing and know in our hearts that the true measure of success is the joy we find in the process.
I focused on the rejection only and not the encouraging words from the editor, "Keep writing like you do. We need more honest Christians like you."
I so totally did not even care about that at first.
smooches,
Larie
That's so true about contests, because they're such a mini form of an author's reality. (reviewers, etc) Great point!
HI Sherrinda, life definitely doles out some bitter pills. I imagine being in the ministry would be really tough. *shudder*
Larie,
I'm so glad you saw past the rejection eventually! What a great compliment you received. Just the fact that you write honestly will draw people to you. :-)
Katie,
I agree! Enjoying someone else's success is a great way to keep bitterness at bay. Also, I think, being thankful. :-)
I'll email you tomorrow (later today your time) about the book you won :)
But personally, there have been times when I've felt that bittnerness in my heart starting to grow. It's terrible and ugly!
I've prayed to have it removed and God has always answered those prayers.
That's a gift in itself.
I can't imagine what you've had to deal with and work through. I'm sure you could teach us all some lessons in forgiveness.
LOL! That's the smartest answer yet. Catch it before it grows, and ask God to take it away. Talk about wise. :-)
~ Wendy
Most of my bitterness is that I have a chronic illness that limits my ability to write for hours each day. I have become envious of those who can and learning that I have to be all I can be, not all everyone else is...hard lesson as I am very competitive!
Hi Donna,
You're competitive? LOL I didn't know that. An illness would be extremely annoying, besides the fact that you have a very painful one. Quantity doesn't mean quality though. ;-)
Bitterness has bit me, although I prefer not to dwell on it when I finally got Grace to smarten me up!
:-)
Yes, I've been bitter at many things in life, particularly the death of my father when I was ten. I became bitter at God, my Mom, my stepdad, anyone. Only receiving the grace of God when I was seventeen, changed my heart of stone into one of flesh.
Perhaps this is why the major theme of my writing is grace, grace and more grace. I've cried enough bitter tears; now I'm dancing with Jesus in joy.
Love this post!
Hi Genny,
Thank you for commenting. Yeah, rejections aren't usually personal. Writers have trouble with that in the beginning.
It put me in a funk for an entire day. I was so bitter and upset about where I'm at career wise that I let it affect my mood. But that night we just started a new study at church on the Purpose Driven Life, and I slowly started realizing that for whatever reason, this job is where I'm supposed to be for the moment.
I've been getting better, but sometimes those tentacles come up and grab me again just when I think I'm over it.
Great topic! Staying in a "trusting God mode" is often difficult when others seem to get blessings so easily. Someone I know often went through difficulties. Her prayer was always, "Lord, help me to stay sweet."
I echoe that prayer today, "Lord, help me to stay sweet in the middle of stressful situations and endless waiting for that big break."
Blessings,
Susan :)
How did it feel? Crappy.
able to escape it's tentacles? Most of the time... although I think we all struggle from time to time.
What does grace mean to me? Everything. Jesus gave us grace freely... and how snobbish of us not to extend it towards others. And I'm pointing the finger directly at myself too. It isn't something I like struggle with A LOT... but something to always be mindful of.
Stephanie, they're def. wastes of time. Well put. Nothing good comes out them.
Hi Julie,
Thanks for stopping by! I love networking with writers because it's one of the ways I'm inspired.
Susan, that's a great prayer! And sometimes we think someone got their blessing quickly, but we don't know of the hard places they've been in.
LOL Krista, You're right. We should give as we've been given to. Maybe you don't struggle with it because you are mindful of it? You're careful and probably get rid of any thoughts before they even meander towards bitterness. One of the best sermons I ever heard was called Pay Attention.
BUT- I did pray every day for God to help me find my true best friend, and on the first day of school my senior year-I met Kaylynn. She's my friend soul mate. I had to wait a long time, but she was worth the weight!
Now I look back at losing the other best friend cuz if I was still close to her, I would have missed out on a person who is as thankful for me as I am for her!
I can't be bitter when I feel lucky that she dropped me. It still hurts some, but I got the better end of the deal!
Have I ever been bitter?
It's a constant struggle with two certain people who gave me life.
And it doesn't feel good. Been trying to escape, but the ME in me makes the get-away very difficult.
I'll be seeing them next week, and will be thinking much about grace. Praying God will fill me with it - cuz I need it!
Thanks for these good words today.
Love you!
When I trust in His plan, the subjectivity of the world spills away. He justifies, He qualifies, He glorifies.
Blessings to you...
Penny, that's so horrible. I'm glad that friend is no longer around. Go Kaylynn! :-)
I think bitterness stems mostly from jealousy. I struggled with it when I was writing a vampire story and another one came out that hit sooooo big yet I couldn't even get an agent to give mine a second look.
Being one of my closest pals, you know exactly what book I'm thinking of when I write this. Heh. I actually did have to pray about it, and God gave me the grace to see that the other author's work, though not my cup of tea, had to have merit considering how many other people LOVED it. So now I look at it with new eyes, trying to learn what she did right so I can incorporate some of those ingredients in my own writing.
I still struggle with bitterness sometimes in other aspects. For example, when my agent won't get back to me on a proposal but is going on and on at her blog or tweet about another client's genius proposal, etc... Little things like that are always there to nurture the envy seed in all of us.
But I've found, if I take a step back, pray ... vent to you (you're such a saint!)... then let it all settle down to a quiet lull, I'll hear God reminding me that He gave me a gift, too. It's just a matter of being patient.
Unfortunately, that's yet another virtue I don't quite grasp yet. Ha!
In fact, I had a miscarriage then and I still believe that my frame of mind had something to do with it. My mom, however, being God's pillar of strength for us all crumbling in our sadness prayed and encouraged us to as well. It's been a long process, but grace did enter my heart and made a home within. And thank you Jesus for that!
Writing is a tough business, and it can lead to bitterness. That is why I self-published my book "Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs." Everyone who read portions of it said it would work (that is, sell) in published form. Everyone believed that except the editors - all but one who said he liked it but didn't publish devotional-type literature.
So, I self-published, and the book is doing well. But even if it isn't, the nature of the book is that family, church members and close friends can use it.
My book is different from fiction, so it might not work the same way for you. But, I have read two self-published novels in the last year. One was ok and one was very good. They just don't get much exposure.
To any fiction writers reading this comment - I admire your work and the grueling process you go through to produce it. God bless.
wb
Wow, I can see how that would make you bitter. What a tough journey. I'm glad you've found that grace place. :-)
Hi T. Anne, you're wise to call it a trap. It really is.
Warren, thank you for stopping by. :-) Non-fiction is sometimes a bit harder than fiction, I think, because not only do you need a riveting book, but you also need an impressive platform. Good for you for following your dreams. If your book touches just one person, then it's worth it. :-)
Elizabeth, no, I'm not. But now I have to go look it up. LOL Thanks for commenting!
Hi Deb,
I think you're probably right about trying to be in control clouding our sight. ;-)
What an awesome post! Bitterness is definitely something we all struggle with. It is easy to let disappointments in the craft of writing turn into bitterness. You're absolutely right, it's an ugly root!Thank goodness for God's amazing grace.