Why Being Unpublished is Like Being Single
Remember back in the day when you longed for a man, that one special man, who would fill your nights with warmth and smother you with spine-melting kisses? Remember how you'd see all the married couples and think "Where's my love?"
And you'd look around and realize you were the only single person in the crowd.
The loneliness got to you, drove you into the bookstore where, foggy-eyed and grief-stricken, you stumbled across a book titled (I'm guessing here) BEING HAPPY WHILE SINGLE.
You bought it because it seemed like a good idea at the time. And then suddenly it seems all people want to talk about is how good it is to be single! The wives tell you to be relieved that you can stay up until three in the morning with the lights on. Be glad no one pees on your toilet rim.
This is us, my dear writer friends. :-)
We are the single folks. Yes, there are wonderful, beautiful thrills to being married (published). But there's also hard work, deadlines, interferences, bad reviews, did I mention deadlines?
So while we keep our dreams alive, let's also find contentment and peace in the place we're at now. Which, based on most of your comments, you already do.
Have you ever wanted something, got it, and realized it wasn't quite what you expected?
And you'd look around and realize you were the only single person in the crowd.
The loneliness got to you, drove you into the bookstore where, foggy-eyed and grief-stricken, you stumbled across a book titled (I'm guessing here) BEING HAPPY WHILE SINGLE.
You bought it because it seemed like a good idea at the time. And then suddenly it seems all people want to talk about is how good it is to be single! The wives tell you to be relieved that you can stay up until three in the morning with the lights on. Be glad no one pees on your toilet rim.
This is us, my dear writer friends. :-)
We are the single folks. Yes, there are wonderful, beautiful thrills to being married (published). But there's also hard work, deadlines, interferences, bad reviews, did I mention deadlines?
So while we keep our dreams alive, let's also find contentment and peace in the place we're at now. Which, based on most of your comments, you already do.
Have you ever wanted something, got it, and realized it wasn't quite what you expected?
Comments
I thrive on deadlines, so I'm hoping my marriage with publishing is a long and healthy one!!
Now, relating that to writing? I'm not sure but I'm glad that the Lord patiently teaches us patience.
I think that it's a good motivator to imagine how wonderful achieving our goal will be. "The Dream" Then, like the rest of life, each new step on our journey comes with its own joys, pressures and disappointments.
Hopefully publishing will exceed your expectations. ;-)
You thrive on deadlines???? *grin*
That's awesome. :-) I think you'll do great with publishing and I can wait to get a sneak peak at your book. Is it on your blog? Hmmm... I'll head over later and check it out.
I totally hear you! I have such a sweet tooth. I haven't blown a diet, but I've blown money on treats that just weren't worth it. LOL
Great comment! The dream does motivate me, but you're so right about us being realistic when it comes to the business of writing.
I'll join you in being thankful for where I'm at now!
Yes, too many times I've got what I asked for and when I got it I then wished I'd never asked!t !
I'm learning to enjoy being "single" in my writing life as far as publishing a book. I'm learning to enjoy the creative and learning process rather than ignore the rest of my life while locked in my office trying to meet deadlines. I'm at my own pace and enjoying the writing journey.
I'm scooting over so you can sit next to me. Btw, I have lots of chocolate. Would you like some? :-)
Congrats on your marriage! I can't wait to hear what happens with your vampire novel.
You won't get jilted. :-) Yeah, I think you're engaged... or maybe you know the question is fixin' to be popped, but you're not sure when. Ha!
That's wonderful. Enjoying the journey is a must, I think. :-)
It took me several years before I published. That was in 01 when the 'new thing' was pod publishing, made out to be the next wave in publishing that would out do all others.
There were again, drawbacks, disappointments galore.
Now I have a novel coming out through Abingdon Press, 'Surrender the Wind'. I've been blogging about the publishing process, and you are correct...it is rife with hard work. I have loved every minute of it.
We all love to write. To be published you have to be willing to do several things.
1. Be patient
2. Be polished - both in your writing and professional attitude.
3. Be persistent in sending out queries.
4. Be aware of the publishing process.
5. Be willing to roll up your sleeves and work hard.
6. Be willing to write for your readers.
Stick with it. Don't give up.
No worries, I'm not even close to quitting. Ha! :-)
Whoops! I'll tell you what every other married person would say, enjoy your singleness. :-) Also, I've seen it happen time and again, love comes when we least expect it.
Right now you have tons of attention to spread on those cutie patootie dogs!
When I longed to marry a man who happened to be a preacher, I thought being in the ministry was one long Bible study, with meals in between. How stupid I was...
It has it's fun moments, but not the picnic I expected. I think the wisdom to remember is: you can't do anything well without God's grace, be it marriage, minsitry or writing.
And did I say thank you?
Jeanette Levellie, Audience of One
Can you say motherhood???
In this case, it is so much better (and some days worse!) than I expected and has grown my faith more than I could have known. So, so very grateful!
I'm totally feeling this these days, but this was a good reminder to sit back be happy with what we have.
:-) I wanted to marry a missionary myself. I got an evangelist who turned into a realtor and now a fishing captain. :-) Things don't go as expected, that's for sure, but God gives us grace to deal with stuff and be content. :-) Thanks for stopping by!
That's awesome. "Conferences are like Speed Dating" LOL! That needs to be a blog post too. Have you ever speed dated? We need some good tips. Number one: Keeps some mints handy. LOL
I haven't been single in so long, I have forgotten what it feels like. So does this mean that we can have some awesome Single Ladies Nights Out? How do you do that in cyberspace anyway?
I've seen that happen. When people turn something over to God and then Bam, He surprises them with awesome stuff. ;-)
I agree. Publishing is such an adventure, like love. You never know what's around the corner.
I have no clue but a night out sounds awesome!!! :-)
Yummy. More chocolate is always welcome. LOL
The single woman sees the fairy-tale wedding, decorating their first home together, etc. She doesn't see the struggles involved in building a marriage, the lean financial times, or any of the challenges of day-to-day life.
There's a cost in marriage, in singleness, and in publishing. It's the end result, the vision, that keeps us moving forward.
Blessings,
Susan :)
*hates dating--publishing version*
I distinctly remember PRAYING that I could finish faster. I felt so ready to be out of there.
Now- I'm in a never ending job search that leaves me depressed and yet-shackled to my home. In college, I'd stay up all hours and hung out with other amazing writers. I'd spend my mornings in writer's seminars, and my afternoons eating a croissant and writing in La Madeline. I had nobody asking when I'd be home-nobody expecting anything except for me to do my homework. I worked out TWICE a day(just split a regular workout in two cuz it seemed easier that way for some reason), and could browse around Target for hours. Sure--I had little money, but I didn't really NEED money-I mostly ate grits/chicken/veggies.
You can do anything you want there--I have a friend who had a baby very young and didn't get to go away to college. Now- She's kind of running wild-as if things were bottled inside her for a long time and she never got the release of college-where she could be free to do what she wanted when she wanted. She got divorced and has gone out of control-It's really hard for her kid. ...I guess my point is that college is a time BEFORE the major commitments like kids when u can take off at 4 am and not ask permission and it's okay. It allows people to get stuff out of their system. Some people have just a little to get out-some have a lot, but I think everyone needs that chance to be "free". During that time, I felt pressures and fears-I didn't stop to look around and see that things would change once I graduated--I would slip into the realm of work and monetary pressures that are HUGE compared to making an A on a psych test. I thought after college would be easier--I expected things to fall into place and to still be totally free. I don't mean I'm locked down-I just mean that my schedule locks up in a way it never did in college. I can't just take off or do anything--I have to choose my own path and not deviate from it.
.......I hope this made sense.
Anyway, I get your point of comparison, and it is a good one. I sent the final draft in today about 5 p.m. for my Proverbs devotional book. It entitled, "Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and other Gems from Proverbs." Ah, felt good.
wb
Thanks for dropping by! I hope everything is going well on your end.
Yeah, I remember in high school being boy crazy and wondering where my man was. LOL It was actually a good thing that I wasn't every guy's dream *snicker*
Anyways, you're married now, one more "marriage" to go. :-)
:-)
That crackes me up!!! I think you have something there. Snort!
I totally get that. In a sense we are more shackled now. It's responsibilities and family, and that's just a part of growing up. I hear what you mean about being "free". I didn't really get that too much in college but senior year of high school was like college for me. I enjoyed jumping in my car whenever and doing stuff.
Soooooo.... wait until you have kids. :-)
Pen Pen, i didn' mean to Wait... I meant that when you do have kids, you'll see another restriction on that freedom, but I promise, they're worth it. :-)
Thanks for this post -- having the perspective to look at the positive aspects of being an unpublished writer is a good trait to cultivate. Glad I read this.
--and u should be asleep! We both should-It's too early :)
This is what happens when a person has kids. They're up when they should be sleeping.
I don't know what your excuse is. LOL!
Thanks for stopping by. It's nice that He's perfect, right? While we're down here worrying, he's got the whole thing taken care of. LOL
I hope you see the good in twinhood, lol. Maybe double the cuteness? :-)
So, enjoy the journey! enjoy it all!
I think many do it here to, but I don't think self-pubbing will be the way I go.
Thanks for stopping by!
I'd love to repost this on my blog. Let me know.
Blessings,
Rhonda McKnight
Secrets and Lies
Coming Nov 24,2009
I'm not looking forward to those "bears". LOL