Wednesday, November 30, 2011

To Pick a Scabbing Wound

After my involvement in that accident, my grandma suggested I write out what happened as a healing exercise. I used to write in a diary all the time, but since getting married, that has fallen to the side. Even when I did it though, the words were subdued for fear that someone like me might walk into the room.

To write about something that hurts to think about seems to me rather like picking at a scabbing wound. But I think for some writing out their hurts aides in the healing process.

How do you release emotion? Do you think writing about a painful event is healthy or counterproductive? And do you journal? If so, what about?

40 comments:

Jessica R. Patch said...

I think it's a great way to get thoughts out that you may not have even realized were there out and in front of you. But if you don't deal with what you wrote, then it's only words on a page.
:)

Sandra Orchard said...

I second Jessica. I don't journal nearly as much as I used to, but I usually find it enlightening. :)

Jessica Bell said...

Writing has definitely been excellent therapy for me. I don't journal, but I think that's because I get enough satisfaction from writing poetry, which is sorta a journal in a way.

Jessica Nelson said...

That's true, Jessica P.

Sandra, that's good. Enlightening is a helpful thing. :-)

Jessica B, totally agree with that.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Running and writing fiction work for me. I'm not much for journaling. I've tried it. But I always get bored. I'd rather write about a made up individual than write about my own life. Yep, there will be no memoirs from me. ;)

Jeanette Levellie said...

First of all, I am praying for Larry, and for you to have peace and comfort in spite of the pain.

I journal most every day, and it helps a ton. I also write what I believe the Lord says back to me--that is a source of strength and wisdom.

When I've written stories about the horrific incidents in my past, such as my daddy's death or my step-dad's abuse of me, it somehow takes the power out of those events to see them in black and white.

If I'm worried someone will see it later, I destroy it. Just writing it down is a catharsis.

Hugs and love,
Jen

Jessica Nelson said...

LOL Stina, I like to run too. And I couldn't write a memoir because I'm afraid I'd hurt someone's feelings.

Hi Jeanette, thank you for chiming in and sharing such personal details. I'm so glad you've found healing in journaling. :-) And thank you for your prayers!

Terri Tiffany said...

I journal almost daily. The best part of putting these emotions down is you have the ability to go back later and see real evidence that you have worked them through, I love when I see that happen! You will too:)

Wendy Paine Miller said...

I journal about any and everything. I also think I put my characters through things so I can heal. I choose scenerios I haven't dealt with so much as I can strongly identify with--the feeling zone.

So my characters help me heal.
~ Wendy

Linda Kage said...

I can't remember ever writing about my situation when I felt down. I'm not sure if it would work on me or not. I'm sure it's a helpful healing process for some though.

Janet, said...

I don't journal, but when my mom passed away I sat down a few days later and wrote about her and my memories of her and it helped me to deal with her passing better.

Katie Ganshert said...

I haven't journaled in a long time. But for me, it's usually healing.

Joanne said...

I don't journal, but I do walk. I find it helpful in so many ways to process my life while on long walks, talking things out with whoever I'm walking with, being with nature. It always helps.

Jessica Nelson said...

Thanks Terri. :-)

Wendy, good point about characters. Sometimes I wonder if mine are helping me do that too (in other areas).

Linda, that's kind of how I'm feeling.

Jessica Nelson said...

Oh Janet, I'm sorry to hear she passed. I can see how writing things down about her would help.

Katie, sometimes I think writing fiction and blogging has taken the place of my need to journal.

Joanne, I know many people who find walking or exercise cathartic. There's something very soothing about nature too.

Jaime Wright said...

I don't journal, but I do need to talk things out - sometimes I talk circles around the person I'm releasing to, but it helps to almost vomit out my pain. For me, it's organizing my thoughts, facing my emotions, and then getting counsel on how to carry those memories without being defeated.

HUGS!!

Keli Gwyn said...

I've found journaling to be a great way to work through things. Since we're writers, putting our thoughts and feelings into words can be therapeutic. I think your grandmother is onto something. =)

Jessica Nelson said...

That's cool, Jaime, that you can talk things out. I can see that about you. :)

Keli, writing is definitely easier for me than being verbal.

Stacy Henrie said...

I think writing in a journal about a tough time is a great way to sort through one's feelings and to look back and see growth and healing. I think the key though is honesty - not sugarcoating the emotions.

Jessica Nelson said...

Stacy, good point. And honesty can hurt...and I like to avoid pain. lol

Melissa Jagears said...

When I go through times like this, it's the one time I write poetry, it's form helps get out those emotions and understand them. I'll agonize a few days over the wording of my poem until I get it right and it seems to help me move on. Also, it's helpful to read others, Like when I miscarry, I'm not the only one who turns to poetry when I do, I'll google miscarriage poems and there are many out there shared. It's helpful to me to know that someone already went through the hell of emotions that I am going through, and usually poetry isn't so personal you can't share it with the world, so it has the added benefit of helping others in similar times. So maybe you could write poetry if journaling seems unappealing, because it would to me, I'm not a journaler--though I do what Jaime does and talk and talk the same points over to hubby until I feel like I have it out of my system.

Anita Grace Howard said...

Hmm. Great post, Jessie. I used to write in a diary in my high school years, but have never journaled since. It seems to help fuel my writing (especially the highly charged scenes) if I keep those emotions inside but accessible to draw from when I need to portray a particular emotion. So I guess my fiction is my therapy. Heh.

Still praying for you!

Loree Huebner said...

Grandma is a smart cookie!

I believe people need to talk (or write) about life's difficult moments. It does help in the healing process.

Lisa Jordan said...

Keeping an emotional journal gives you a sanctuary to release those hurts and it's a terrific writing tool for when you need to recreate a similar feeling in your characters.

When my mom had open heart surgery at the end of August, I stayed strong until I visited her in the ICU and saw the tear tracks on her face. Then I went to the waiting room and lost it. I used that pain and release to write a life-changing scene for my character in my second book.

Emotion and pain is never wasted. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but know you are not alone. And those wounds will heal.

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

i'm a huge believer in journaling for my clients. it's a way to release emotions that get pent up and it can be so therapeutic. i do it myself through email, as the time to keep a private journal somehow got eaten away at by having a child. :)

Sarah Forgrave said...

I don't journal as much as I used to--mostly because I just don't have time to think with little ones around the house. But I always love the cathartic process whenever I can do it. :)

Heather Sunseri said...

I love to journal and write out painful events, but I also think talking to trusted people and getting help in dealing with painful issues is a huge benefit!

thinking of you, Jessica!!

Faith Pray said...

I think there are seasons to journaling, especially when going through difficulties. Sometimes the pain is too close, other times, writing helps. There's a balance somewhere between dwelling on our pain, and ignoring it. Peace to you.

Jill Kemerer said...

It depends. Sometimes a journal can be a way to prolong the misery--we can get stuck in negativity. But other times it allows us to get all of our spew out and move on!

Glynis said...

Writing down moments of frustration and my poetry, certainly helped me through dark days.

It might help you long or short term. I certainly hope you find peace inside whatever way you do it. x

Nancy said...

I think writing about something bad helps a lot. I used to journal, but the thought (fear) that someone might read such thoughts has curtailed me most of the time.

I hope you find the writing helpful.

Warren Baldwin said...

If the emotion is intense, jogging is a good release. Praying, writing, talking it out. Did journaling about this experience help?

Karen Lange said...

Writing can be so therapeutic. I should do it more. Praying for you.

Cheryl Linn Martin said...

I find it difficult to write about hurtful things (personal ones, that is.) I don't journal on a regular basis, but I have done it once in a while.

But, it may help you! Try to write some thoughts down as they come to you. You never know, you may be able to use them in the future in your writing!

Blessings and hugs to you, Jessica.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Journaling/talking about difficult times helps me put things into perspective. When I do this, the situation doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.

Blessings,
Susan

Ryan and Melanie said...

I process through writing, so it's a huge part of my healing. When I had my miscarriage, it helped to share my experience in writing.

Blessings to you!

Mel

Jessica Nelson said...

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your wisdom and encouragement.

Patti said...

Like you, I used to keep a journal as well. I'm not sure why I stopped. I think it helps somewhat, like an emotional release. I hope it works for you.

Kathryn Magendie said...

oh Jessica! I did not know about this accident . . . I am so sorry this has weighed you down *hugs*

I don't journal, but bits and pieces of my pain or hurt or anger is oft-times scattered in books. Little hidden things.

Hope the young man, Larry, will be okay, and you are better as well.

Caryn Caldwell said...

I go back and forth on that all the time. Like you, I used to journal, but sometimes I think it just gave me a way to dwell on the negative instead of moving on. Perhaps journals are more productive if you get the hurt out there, and then move on, focusing on what you're thankful for.